Love is the Balance
by YumeMiruHachi
Summary: Set after TROS - Ben may have disappeared, but somehow he is still connecting with Rey in her dreams and she hears his voice reaching out to her. Could he still be alive somewhere within the Force, as she can sometimes feel, and can she save him once more?
1. In The Time After

"Ben!"

Rey sits up in bed like a bolt of electricity went through her, arm outstretched towards the darkness. For a moment, she swears he is there with her, but in the dark, she can't find any trace that she is right. She relaxes, arm dropping back to her side as BB-8 rolls closer.

"I know," Rey says to him after he pipes up, "It was just another dream." _'Just like all of the other ones," _she adds in her thoughts. Although she tells BB-8 that all is well, she waits for just another moment longer, then turns to lay on her side and stare at the wall.

She couldn't help but wish for him to return to her. He had vanished without a trace after she finally showed her true feelings for him, and after she saw Ben's true smile for the first time. She blinks a tear out of her eyes and puts her face into the firm pillow, hoping to wick away the moisture escaping.

Since the final battle against her grandfather, Emperor Palpatine, and the loss of the man who had come back to save her, the man she knew _would_ come back for her, Rey had left her friends to lead a life on Tatooine on her own. Well, not _totally_ alone since she had BB-8 as a companion. Even still, she had to admit, it was just as lonely as her life on Jakku, but at least now she had purpose and understanding under her belt. Rey, however, was at a loss as to what to do next. She completed her right of passage and created her own lightsaber with her kyber crystal that she obtained, but sometimes she almost asked herself, _why? _In a world without Palpatine and the First Order, what would she potentially need it for? She already stored away Luke and Leia's lightsabers.

Sometimes, Rey was almost convinced she felt a wave in the force, a familiar wave Ben Solo had when he was around her. She knew there were others out there who were force sensitive, that there were other fluxes in the force, but for something so familiar…

She had seen a vision the last time they bonded in the cavern of her grandfather's sin. With Ben coming to the light, a family of their own when he nodded at her. At the time, she could feel the tears coming at how happy it made her. But her visions were wrong before, and seemingly, wrong that time, too.

_Be with me…_Rey begged as she clenched her eyes shut. _Be with me...Be with me..._

Despite her efforts, Ben, or any Jedi of the past for that matter, came to her during her pleas and she drifted off into sleep instead.

In the dark of the hut, Ben Solo stood in the middle of the room. He never cared for any of the thoughts he had of his uncle's connection to this place, but with Rey here now, he felt compelled to stay. Late in the night, Ben watches as Rey sleeps, her brow furrowed like she's in pain. Every time she dreamt like this, he felt the same wave of protectiveness over her.

"Nothing's going to hurt you, it's all over now." He says, his commanding voice now in a murmur as he kneels by her bed and leans over her, studying her face. His hand reaches, twisting to lay flush against her cheek.

"Rey," he whispers. Suddenly she bolts straight forward, right through the invisible spirit of Ben Solo, as she calls out his name. It startles him nearly as much as she was and he shifts, leaning back and getting to his feet. She can't see him, although he can see her. In fact, over the last however many months, maybe even a year already, he had been by her side without her knowing. He had hoped that she could at least sense him, and from her actions, he could tell she did at least occasionally. It pained him to see her struggle with her loneliness and he wanted so badly to tell her it was all okay, that he was here for her. The problem was, he didn't have any way to connect with her anymore. Ever since he faded into the force and left behind only his garments, he had lost the ability to force link with her despite their bond as a dyad.

As the droid wakes up and rolls past him to Rey's side, he feels a pang of jealousy - Even this ball of scrap was able to converse with her. Frustrated, he turns to swipe a jar off the counter, hoping the crash of the clay will alert the two that he is there. His arm, instead, floats right through the object and doesn't have the same outcome as he wishes.

"It was just another dream...just like all the other ones," he hears her, though the second part echoes as it only plays in her mind. He wishes he could see these dreams, wanting to know what it is that she sees. Were they flashbacks of their battles, or even with her grandfather, Emperor Palpatine? Did she dream of the moment Ben left her? Though she tells the droid that she is okay, he watches as she pauses to look through the room again. He stills, even holding his breath, as if he could be caught. When she finally lays back in her bed, he relaxes and crosses over, sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Be with me…" he hears her beg.

"I want to be," he tells her back, picking up a hand to touch her, but thinks against it. She already woke up from his touch, he assumed, so why keep her from her already restless sleep when she clearly needed it. On the other hand, if she really did respond to his touch and voice, maybe he was closer to her than he previously thought. He closes his eyes, too, and lets himself fade back into his place in the world between worlds.


	2. Searching In Vain

*****Author's Note: Wow! Wasn't expected as many reads as I got. Thanks for the incentive to keep going! This may not be perfect, but I'm trying to give myself a happy ending for Ben Solo and Rey that I didn't get from the movie. Hope you enjoy the story!*****

"_Are you sad?" _A voice asks, firm and deep. Rey looks up from her dish, her head turning side to side to look for the person it belongs to. There is no one with her, only BB-8 who does not notice her movements and plays in the corner with scrap. It was times like these that made her feel so sure Ben was still with her, and not just in her heart as part of the Jedi past. She knew better than that.

"_A little lonely," _she admits to herself, or to whoever is out there listening to her. She didn't have the heart to admit anything further, how her heart had missed her adopted family of Luke and Leia and Han, and how it longed for the touch of Ben Solo even more. She turns and glances at BB-8 in the corner, who notices her and asks her, _what?_ She shakes her head in response and raises a spoon to her lips, taking in the liquid as she lets her eyes drop back onto the table.

"_I wish I was with you," _the voice tells her. She drops her spoon with a splash into the wooden bowl. With no warning, her eyes filled with tears.

"Uh oh," BB-8 twitters as he rolls closer, stopping just before bumping into her leg.

"_There is no need for tears, Rey," _the voice tells her now. She shakes her head, hoping to get the voices out but to no luck. She can't see him, so how could he see her? Her mind must be playing games with her.

"Just stop," she pleads as she hiccups. "I can't handle this anymore, my heart breaks when I hear you. To know that you came back for me, that you _died_ for me..." She brings her hands up, putting them over her face as she tries to collect herself. As she takes in a deep, shuddering breath, she feels a warmth on her shoulder, like a large hand placed there.

"I just want to be with you, Ben," she finally admits. She remembers his face, dark and bloodied, when they last met. His messy hair, even the little moles on his cheeks, as she put her hands on them for their first and final kiss. She lets a sob out and pushes her bowl away from her, instead putting her arms and head on the table and letting herself cry. After a few broken sobs, she lifts her head to the dark room, only to still find BB-8 looking at her with concern. She sniffles, dropping an arm down and caressing the top of the droid before standing up and grabbing her mostly full bowl.

It was hard when she still heard the voice of her almost lover, Ben. The only thing Rey wanted was to feel loved, and to have a real family. She had been right about Ben, that she would eventually help turn him to the light side, but her secret wish to be with him just wasn't enough to make it a reality. Even the vision she had of the two of them together on Chandrila wasn't enough to be reality.

After washing the bowl out and placing it on the small counter next to the sink, she crosses the room to the door and steps out into the desert. The two suns in the distance are low, signaling night coming, and most likely a restless night of sleep. She sits, cross-legged, outside the front of her house in the sand.

"_If he is speaking to me, he must be out there somewhere. Where can he be?" _She asks herself, closing her eyes and picturing the galaxy. It starts with just a pitch-black scape with little speckles, but she continues to search through the galaxies and systems for any trace of him. Everywhere all at once, and yet nowhere, does she feel Ben's energy. It baffled her as to how she felt_ what_ she felt. How could she sense him everywhere she was, but couldn't find him in the Force directly? His voice must be coming from only her head. That was the only explanation she had for the phenomenon; she missed Ben so desperately that her mind really was playing games with her. She begins to pull back from her search when she feels it, like a beacon emitting a signal, a real, tangible energy.

"Where are you, Ben?" She says out loud as she hovers, sand rocks floating parallel to her. But as she reaches the energy, it escapes her once more. She tries unsuccessfully to catch his energy twice after this and finds herself crashing, literally, into the sand after her final attempt. She gets onto all fours, slamming her fists into the sand in vain.

On the other hand, Ben Solo stands, watching her from just feet away from her, helplessly. Why the Force wouldn't connect them the same way it had before was beyond them both, clearly, but in Ben's case, it was even more mystifying since he could at least see her. Rey could only occasionally hear his remarks to her if he really tried to reach out to her. Twice in the last hour she had broken down in tears, though he is sure she would be stronger if he were there for her to see. He knew she would be more at ease if that was the case.

But that wasn't the case, and Ben couldn't be more unsure of what to do in this scenario. In his dark trousers and black shirt, he kneels in the sand by Rey, scooping up a handful and letting it slip out from his fingers. Only small individual grains stick to his bare skin, which he certainly isn't used to. His hands, large and strong, were gloved daily until almost recently. In fact, Rey was the one that slowly peeled back the layers of Kylo Ren to reveal Ben, and the gloves were one of the first things to go so that they could touch hands.

Ben glances back to Rey, who has stopped sniffling and is simply staring into the sand as it gets darker. He wants to usher her inside before night comes, before he loses his energy waiting for her to do so but knows he can't.

"Rey," he says out loud. She doesn't even flinch, so he moves closer, saying her name again. With no acknowledgement coming from her, he sits back into the sand next to her, putting his forehead on his knees. It was time to go, as he was getting tired fast this time around. He takes one last look at her and closes his eyes, relaxing as he sits, and disappears despite her being unable to see him anyways.


	3. Force Energy

*****A/N: Hi guys, thanks for sticking with me so far. Just a heads up – the next few chapters will be more spaced out, I've just been on a HUGE Reylo kick since watching TROS and have been neglecting reality *****

It had been weeks since she last heard from her love, and it made Rey very uneasy. She couldn't even feel him in the Force anymore; not even a speck of energy. She lays in bed, the silence of the desert ear piercing to her, wishing she heard the ocean like she had on Ach-To. She wishes Ben could experience it with her, too.

"_I'm still here, Rey," _she tosses over, clenching her eyes shut. "_I'm not as far gone as you think." _

"You're gone, and your memory is haunting me." Rey states back, trying to push Ben's voice from her head. She had to admit, though, his voice was better than the silence she had been experiencing.

"_I'm lost, stuck in a world between worlds." _

Rey ponders for only a split second, realizing he never once came to her as a force ghost like the others had when she called on them. It was only him.

"A world between worlds?" She re-states as a question. There is no answer, and her mind begins to race. "Where do I find this world? How do I get to you?" She asks again. She looks around the room, feeling just a small trace of him.

"Ben!?" She yells out in frustration.

"_I don't know." _He finally responds, like he whispered in her ear. The tone of his voice sounds uneasy, and she knows he tells the truth. If Ben knew a way to get out of his entrapment, he would have by now. She sits on the ground from the very spot she stood in the small house, closing her eyes and taking in a series of deep breaths. _I must find Ben,_ she tells herself. _Be with me...be with me...be with me…_

She begins to think that it is no use, that there is nothing she can do. Her mind immediately skips to her uneventful future of loneliness, doubting she can ever move on from Ben when he still haunts her like this.

"_Don't you think like that, Rey,"_ she hears. Her tears escape and she quickly wipes them away on the back of her hands. "_You're not alone."_

She doesn't say anything as he speaks, just looks around the room. _Be with me...be with me..._she begins to think over and over.

"You're not alone. You're mine," Ben finishes, the voice almost booming in her direction. Her eyes widen as he appears in front of her, full of color and just like before.

"Ben?" Rey asks wildly, rushing forward. Her hands reach up and touch his cheeks and he does the same to her. Hurriedly, she studies his face and leans in; they kiss passionately as if they are making up for lost time. His hands trail down from her cheeks and wrap around her shoulders, pulling her to him. The physical touch was mystifying, having thought if anything, she would find his Force ghost. They briefly part, looking at each other. He leans down and bumps his forehead into her, keeping their eyes locked. Rey opens her mouth to speak but Ben cuts her off.

"Do you hear me?" He kisses her again, one arm dropping to her waist. "Mine."

"I heard you," she responds, pulling away slightly. "How are you here?"

"I don't know," he murmurs, glancing to her neck. He has to bend slightly to lean in and kiss a trail down from her jaw to her neck. He feels her shiver and he feels his own spine shiver in response. He stands tall again, looking over her. She stares at him with wide eyes still, and he remembers that he has seen her this whole time; for Rey, seeing Ben was something she didn't expect to see except in memories. "I've been here the whole time."

Her jaw drops in disbelief, standing straight and putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Then why couldn't I see you?" She asks, pleading for an answer he doesn't have. He shakes his head at her. "Are you back, you're here to stay with me?"

He has so many of the same questions she does, but he places a hand on her chin, moving so that his thumb tips her up so that he can kiss her. As he leans closer, she blinks a tear and he can't help but feel his own eyes get watery. He kisses her hard.

"I love you, Rey," he murmurs against her mouth. "Nothing is going to take you from my side."

She places her arms around him, not quite able to reach the entire circumference around his torso. She felt so safe and happy in these arms, the ones of the man that saved her life, and loved her too.

"Me too," she nearly cries. "I love you, Ben." She clutches his black cotton shirt as they stand in the hut, holding each other close. They stand in silence, though Ben gently rocks her as they stand, Rey wrapped in his arms tight. He fears letting go, not wanting to disappear. He can feel his energy draining, and though he wasn't sure of how _exactly_ he got here, he was sure there was a way to ensure he was permanently with his love once again. After what seems like only seconds, he pulls back to look at her. Her loving eyes stare up at him and he swallows a lump in his throat.

"Listen, Rey," he lets go of her and takes her hands. "I don't know if I'll be here long." She blinks, her smiling dropping. "I can feel my energy draining, somewhat like in Palpatine's tomb."

"No, Ben," Rey pleads, knowing where this is going. "You can't leave me now. Where do I go to get to you? I will go anywhere!" She sounds desperate by the time she finishes her last sentence, a pang of pain spreading throughout Ben's recently thawed heart.

"We're doing something right," he says, "otherwise I wouldn't be here. For now, let me just be with you, right here, right now." She still looks hurt, like he was purposely going to leave her. He sweeps her up in his arms, just like the first time they met, and he carried her to the ship to be interrogated, though this time, he was much gentler with her. He places her on the bed he's seen so many times, and she turns, facing him. He puts a knee on the bed, then lays next to her. Rey glances at him, now realizing his wardrobe has changed considerably, something much more comfortable. While he wore trousers similar to before, he wore a black cotton shirt with buttons at the hem of the neck. His black hair was still wild, even as he rested his head next to hers. She stared into his dark eyes, studying his face and remembering every freckle and mole as if it were the first time.

"Are you lonely?" Rey asks Ben. He blinks, taken aback a bit. Truth be told, it was quite lonely. While Rey had basically put herself in self-exile, Ben had figured he deserved his life in solitude and limbo for all the things he had done to the galaxy.

"Not as lonely as you," he tells her in response. He shifts, moving closer on the bed and her lips part, like she is thinking of saying something. She noticeably swallows, then finally says, "without you, it's very lonely."

Ben can hardly contain himself, and without hesitating and pulls her in close, kissing her forehead.

"I had a vision that day you disappeared. When you called out to me to let me know you had arrived, I looked into your eyes and I saw _our_ future, Ben. Together. A family on Chandrila." She looks down between them on the fabric of the blankets they lay on top of. "I was devastated." She admits to him, tears coming to her eyes.

He can't help but watch helplessly, knowing what she really wants but being unable to promise her that he's able to. He felt tired, worrying internally about the reality of staying even twenty more minutes with her. He just had to focus on getting to stay in Rey's life, to redeem himself by granting her everything she could ever want. He, too, had seen it, but just a flash. They had a home on Chandrila, not far from Hanna City where Ben was born. They lived far enough out of the city to have plenty of room to train Jedi, and from what Ben saw, they may have even had a child who was strong with the Force of their own. The thought somewhat terrified him.

"I would give it all to you Rey; the world if you wanted it." She blinks as she looks up at him, tears running down the side as she lays. "If only I could promise I am alive in your realm. I'm afraid…" he trails off, locking eyes with her. "In the realm I am in, I am unsure if I can continue to permanently exist. I've been trying all this time to reach you, and I am here now…" he sighs, and Rey notices how tired he looks, realizing he's exerting his energy to be here.

"Ben, no," she said in a worried tone, reaching an arm out and touching his chest. "I'm sure if I give you some of my life force I can-"

"I don't think it's that simple, Rey, and I don't want you wasting your energy needlessly. I've noticed your sleeping habits." She is near to crying, but manages a smile, knowing he must be watching after all this time to know she hasn't been sleeping well. "The only reason I am here is because of you. We're a dyad, and you've managed to redeem us, and the Skywalker name. You'll carry it on well."

"I can't carry it any further."

"Then together, we'll carry it, and ensure it lives on. I'm sure there are Force sensitive kids out there still." He has a point; Rey training a new generation would start a new legacy for Jedi to protect the galaxy from anything. On the other hand, could Rey handle such a task? She wasn't anything like master Luke or Leia. Her time training and 'mastering' the Jedi code was so short, did she have the experience needed to help teach the next generation?

"You need to come back to me. We need to work together." She tells him in a near whisper, leaning up and kissing him. He's pale and looks exhausted. "For now, let's sleep." Rey shuts her eyes immediately, knowing that soon he will disappear out of her arms, potentially for good. It doesn't take long. Ben shuts his eyes and holds Rey tight, and only moments after he drifts off, he disappears.

Rey, feeling a slight disturbance in the Force and the physical touch disappearing from her skin, opens her eyes. He's gone and there's no telling when, or if, she will see her love again.


	4. Hello Friend

*****A/N: I'm going to try and post weekly now that the holiday break is over. Bear with me :) *****

In the morning, BB-8 picked up a transmission from none other than Finn, asking for her coordinates. She pondered on replying, but continues to hesitate as the hours pass, wondering why he was asking. In fact, Rey couldn't help but even pace over it, back and forth in her small house. When BB-8 tries to remind her that she hasn't replied, she reaches for her hooded robe and saber, pulling them to her through the force.

"I think I will go train for now," she states instead. The droid beeps at her, watching her as she walks away. She knots the front of her robe and pulls the white hood up, then lightsaber in hand, goes out through the front door. In amazement, she is surprised to see her dear friend walking in the sand towards her.

"Finn!?" Rey exclaims, exiting through the door and running to her old friend. "You're here!"

"I figured you could use some company," he smiles at her, pulling Rey into a tight hug when she is close enough. They hold each other close for a moment, a feeling of affection that Rey had missed, before pulling apart again. Her smile quickly fades.

"I got your transmission, and I am sorry I didn't reply."

"It's fine," Finn says as he beams at her. "I'm glad to see you, it's been so long." He reaches to hug her again and she snaps her saber into her belt, knowing now will not be a good time to train after all. When he pulls away again, he says "Rey," Finn's voice gets serious so quickly that she turns to face him. "I never got a chance to tell you something."

"Well, what is it?" Rey asks in response, not even skipping a beat.

"I'm Force sensitive. I've begun to...feel things. It's like an instinct, and when I follow it, it usually leads me to something. Today, it was you."

Rey is surprised to hear this from her friend, of all things, she didn't expect to hear that he could feel the Force. Actually, she was more curious about Finn's relationship with the Resistance fighter, Rose Tico. When she last talked to Poe a few months ago, things sounded serious.

"That's great Finn," she says to him, another rush of emotions coming over her. How much did he feel? Did he feel the connection between Rey and Ben, or even Kylo Ren for that matter? Could Finn also feel Ben in the Force? "I'm sure you have a lot of questions; I know I have some myself."

She gestures towards her hut on the old Lars farm. The two begin to walk to the entrance and Finn starts with his questions.

"How do I learn to understand it? Where do I even begin?"

"I'm not confident that I can train you to be a Jedi, Finn, but maybe I can help you find the basics as I did from Master Luke and Leia." She pauses. "I will be going on a mission, of sorts. It won't be very long, I've been trying to figure out how to get there."

"What is it for?"

Rey doesn't know how to eloquently state what she needs, what will finally give her peace inside will upset him. She looks away from her friend.

"Ben Solo is somewhere out there. I need to find him."

"You said yourself that he disappeared into the Force when he died. It's no use, Rey. You'll be driving yourself mad if all you ever do is think of him, you know."

"I've seen him. He's been coming to me, usually after a bad dream or a long day, and I know-" she cuts Finn off as he begins to reason with her, "that it sounds crazy, but it's not. It's the reality I am living in."

"You've done enough for the galaxy, Rey, if he wants to make things right then he can save his own ass."

Rey turns around, an immediate glare shooting from her eyes at her friend in response.

"What do you propose I do? Leave him in a world between worlds where he may never move on? I can't do that, Finn, I love him!"

"Oh, so you've snapped and love a genocidal maniac now? Is this how it really went down?"

"Yes!" She yells angrily because, for lack of better terms, he was partially right. Rey had never told him about their final kiss, or for any of their Force conversations for that matter; maybe he really did have the power of the Force. "Ben may have been tempted by the dark side and yes, he had done some terrible, _terrible_ things that affected you and the world in the worst ways." Finn puts his arms out as if there's no other point to make, but she frowns at him. "He's seen the light side now, and saved my life. He wants to redeem himself and work on making things better, little by little."

"Rey, this is crazy."

"It's not crazy, Finn! Kylo Ren is no longer a threat to the galaxy, in fact, Ben could make a wonderful addition to the Jedi Order in the future."

"You're losing it, Rey. Just forget that I ever said anything about being force sensitive." Rey puts her arms up in the arm in frustration, about to argue back when Finn continues. "I know what you're getting at and no, I don't feel like training under any maniac like Kylo-"

"Ben!"

"KYLO REN." His outburst makes her flinch. Finn turns on his heel and walks out the door, leaving a salty Rey standing next to her kitchen counter. She waits for him to burst back in and say something else, maybe apologize, but knows he won't this time. Instead she looks out the small cutout from the sand compound wall and sees him heading towards his ship. Tears in her eyes, her bottom lip comes up in a pout. While she knew she could do it alone, she at least hoped her friend would understand the reason behind her need to fulfil this mission.

Afterall, she could tell he had feelings for Rose Tico, the resistance member who played a key part in the events leading up to the Battle of Crait. She was an upstanding woman, and deeply loved Finn as well. Finn had talked her up so affectionately, she thought when she overheard him speaking about her.

Rey briefly remembers the day of the Battle of Crait, the way Kylo Ren betrayed Snoke to help her, giving her a glimmer of hope that she could save Ben Solo. The way he asked her to be with him, holding out his hand for her to take. She had been so tempted to take it, but only if he relinquished his own imprisoned self. The way his rage took over when he prepared to battle his own uncle, her master, Luke.

It took her some time and understanding, empathy maybe, to want to save him. _"I did save him once,_" she recalls, their final duel on the destroyed Death Star ending in her own shame and regret. _"It was the light,_" she thinks again, pulling her back into her will and confidence in saving Ben, both then and now. _"And he has never lied to me. He's always been straight forward with information." _Rey had believed all along there was good in him, and in their final moments together, he had shown his change from Kylo Ren to the repressed Ben Solo.

The look in his eyes when they met on Exegol told her everything. His turn for the light side, his love for her, their future together. If she just held onto that hope, then maybe she would be able to make her vision a reality, just like before when she knew Ben would turn.

If only she could tell Finn all of this, then maybe he would understand. However, she could see many reasons why he could hold a grudge that would be hard to let go. While Finn was _Finn_, he never had the chance to live life as a child, making Rey's seem almost trouble-free when he was raised to kill. She did meet him after her fled his squad's assassination of a village, if she recalled correctly. "_Yes,"_ she thinks to herself, "_I understand his grudges...but if only…"_

Rey walks across her small farmhouse and checks the window cutout, verifying her friend indeed left, just tracks in the sand from where his ship previously sat. She sighs, having never even gotten the chance to ask about his feelings for Rose Tico...


	5. The Moon Song

*****A/N: Thanks again for reading! I've got a song on my inspiration playlist called "The Moon Song" by The Hound and The Fox. If you have a chance, check it out - This chapter was inspired by it.*****

Rey quietly lays on the bed and looks at the ceiling, wondering if Ben was with her. It had been another long day of nothing; no contact from anyone, including Finn, who she assumed was still upset with her. A tune comes to her mind as she thinks of Ben and the distance between them.

"I'm lying on the moon. It's a perfect afternoon." She sings softly and self-consciously, keeping her eyes on the sand compound above her. She remembers the tune as a lullaby, from where though, she doesn't know. She figured she may have heard it through the Force before, maybe even from her own mother singing it to her in a memory. She wished it was her mother.

"Your shadow follows me all day…." she closes her eyes, digging deep into the Force to try and catch a sense of Ben's energy. "Making sure that I'm okay and…."

She searches through what seems like cobwebs in the Force, trying to reach every nook and cranny she can. There's a glimmer off in the distance.

"We're a million miles away…."

Something familiar strikes her, out in the far depths of the Force, yet so close. _Come here,_ she feels it pull, but that's not what she wants; she wants it to come to _her_. She reaches for it but it seems so far out of grasp. With an outstretched arm, something connects with her hand reaching through the Force.

"I'm safe, but we're a million miles away…" She murmurs as she feels her hand, warm, like it's being held. Rey feels a tear escape through her closed eyes, wondering how that could even be.

"Ben, please, come back to me," she pleads. As if he teleported to her side, she feels his presence and opens her eyes. She finds him kneeling next to her, her hand in his, gazing at her. She lets out a whimper, then a sob and he moves in, pinning her to the bed with his embrace.

"I've missed you, Ben," she cries, holding him tight. Ben nuzzles into the side of her neck, dotting it with soft kisses. "But you've been here, haven't you?"

"Of course, Rey." He replies to her, a hand running into her hair. "Even when you don't see me." She takes this in as knowledge she already knows, but without being able to see him for herself, she couldn't let herself feel so sure. She had begun to feel self-conscious about her habits and lifestyle because of it.

She shifts under his body, reaching down to his waist and taking the hem of his shirt with one hand. She lifts it, just enough to touch his midsection, which makes him flinch. Her hands are not cold, in fact, they are warm from the Tatooine desert air. Ben momentarily wonders what she is thinking, but she drops her hand. He sits up, kneeling over her on her bed.

He pulls his shirt up slightly, waiting for her to protest that she wasn't meaning for him to do so, but she stays silent, watching him. He pulls his shirt clean over his head, exposing his clean, toned chest. Her hands slip upwards from his side, reaching for his shoulders. He meets her halfway for a kiss as he leans closer again, feeling more conflicted over her body language and expressions than any other moment in his life. He knew a thing or two about these little things about her, making her actions even harder to resist.

Ben wanted to make Rey happy, and as a human man, he had urges towards the woman he loved. Rey wanted a family, a partner to share her love with, and Ben was more than happy to fill that void, but since he wasn't particularly _alive_ in her realm, how could he give her what she wanted?

He whispers her name, then kisses her. She takes his face in her hands and kisses him back. "I don't want to hurt you." _In any way,_ he adds in his mind, thinking that his next disappearance will hurt her even more so. He swallows, feeling somewhat nervous.

"I love you, Ben." She states, pulling back to look him in the eye. He studies her face, finding every word she says to be true.

"I want you all to myself, Rey." Rey recalls he said something like this last time, too, and although she didn't like the idea of being a possession, she _wanted_ to be his if it meant he was with her.

"You have me all to yourself," she tells Ben as he winces at her, her words nearly enough to cause him to lose control.

Ben sits up from Rey's bed, watching her sleep soundly under the blanket, her shoulder peeking over the edge. The bed is small, uncomfortable for the two of them together, and quite honestly, uncomfortable in general. While Ben was tired, he didn't want to rest yet; he was afraid to disappear like he had in the times before when he got tired.

Ben, nor Rey, cared of any consequences to their actions, as if there were any. As Ben reminisced on his experience with connecting with Rey, this time different than that only through the Force, he wondered if there was a chance, if he could at least fulfill her wish for a family. On the other hand, he didn't want her to go through the experience alone, if that was even the case. He thinks about his grandfather, and his wife Padme; her death in childbirth. He had seen the vision he had seen; in fact, a lot of visions of Anakin Skywalker began to plague him. The thought scared him, but Ben's own vision gave him hope. He absolutely had to find a way to come back to her, permanently.

He laid back beside her, cradling her sleeping body against his chest and pulled the blanket over them both. He wasn't trying to wake her, but she stirs, sleepily blinking and looking up at him.

"Ben," she whispered, her hazel brown eyes gazing up into his own dark pair. Even in the black of night, he can see them. She leans in, nuzzling into his neck. "Stay with me. I want to be with you for the rest of our time. I want to be a family, like I saw."

He glances down, his love under the covers with him, pleading to stay here forever, even wanting to build a family together. He sucks in a deep breath, anything to keep him from his realistic fate. But he smiles, a genuine smile out of happiness and pulls her close, his eyes getting watery. He shuts them, taking a couple long, deep breaths. How badly he wanted to tell her _yes, of course._

A pull of sleep washes over Ben, but he opens his eyes, knowing that he doesn't have much time left on this trip back to her. Rey's eyes are closed, and she may even be tired. He debated on probing her mind to see her thoughts on their intimate time together, as immature as it sounded, but knew not to.

"Sleep." He murmurs quietly, putting his lips to her forehead, then tightens his wrap around her shoulders. Ben, too, closed his eyes, knowing he won't be staying. His energy was fading, and he had to pull back to the world between worlds sooner than later. In his sleepy mind, he recalls words his mother said to him as a small child and have been in his head as a fond memory. To Rey, in a sleepy whisper, he tells her, "nothing's going to hurt you baby, nothing's going to take you from my side."

And just like that, Ben Solo pulled back into the world between worlds, fully clothed and staring at a large, glass triangle smack dab in the middle of circular glass room, the stars glowing in the pitch black sky, the planet of Lothal below him. He recognized it, as it had been a target on his map for the Jedi Temple there. Rumor has it that it was already destroyed. Previously, he started in a white room, it's faded into nothing but glass over his time here. Whatever it was, Ben only cared about getting out and back to Rey.

For now, he had to rest. He felt dizzy from the lack of energy. He would try again in a day or two when he was fully rested. The longer, the better, but he didn't want to leave at all. If he could, he would stay forever in that small farmhouse, if that's what it came to. He dreads the thought, though. He lays on his back on the floor, staring directly at the glass triangle that he came out and slowly drifts into sleep, thinking of Rey the whole time.


	6. The Mission

Time had trickled by since Ben's visit with Rey, like sand in an hourglass. Rey could almost watch the seconds go by for days on end, counting like she did for her family. If this wasn't deja vu, she didn't know what was.

BB-8 rolls into the room as she sits at the table, staring at the window cutout. He whistles at her and she turns, looking at the droid and asking, "what?" She doesn't mean for it to come out as short and demanding as it does and instantly retracts. She re-asks in a kinder tone, "What is it BB-8?"

After a series of whistles and beeps, Rey blinks, not sure if she is understanding him right. There was a transmission from Finn stating he was willing to help her, but on one condition; she trains him on the basics of controlling his abilities in the Force.

Of course, Rey was willing to pass on what she knew, but was it enough? She had only trained with Luke and Leia for a short period of time after all. She supposed that she could at least teach him the meditative forms of controlling the Force. She records a message back, telling Finn, "Of course." That was it, it was all that he needed to hear from her to know she was on board. It is only a short matter of time before her friend arrives back on Tatooine.

Within hours, Finn lands in the sandy desert planet of Tatooine. As he exits the ship, she stands at the doorway, watching him striding closer, trudging through the sand.

"Just, please, tell me what you see in that man."

Finn asks as he approaches her. What a way to be greeted.

"You don't understand, Finn, I _need_ to find Ben. He's out there, stuck in perpetual purgatory until I save him." She notices her friend frown in response as he begins to walk past her towards the house.

"I'm going whether you want me to or not."

"Don't be stupid," her friend says in response. "Like I would let you get lost on your own. Besides, someone has to teach me the basics. Who else but you?"

Rey can't help but smile somewhat, knowing that Finn was trying hard.

"But I am not going to like it, Rey. I don't care for that _monster_ and I want as little interaction with him as possible."

"Finn," she said as she turned to him in a scolding tone, "He is not a monster. He is a different person now. Kylo Ren died that day in Palpatine's tomb, and I thought Ben did too. He didn't, and he needs me just as much as I need him."

Ben appears out in the desert, as if a pop of lighting dropped him there. Why here and not in the house, he didn't know. He looked around and spotted Rey by Finn's ship. This time, her friend was with her, the ex-stormtrooper. Finn. He wasn't about to purposely go back after wasting so much energy to get here.

"Rey," a deep voice says behind her. "_Not now, it can't be!_" She thinks to herself, turning around. She lets out a gasp as Finn does the same.

"You! I thought you were gone, you homicidal monster!"

Ben stops in his tracks, knowing the reception wasn't going to be warm, but it stung a little to know he was right and that he immediately reacted this way. He opens his mouth to begin to reason back, but Rey moves forward between them.

"Ben!" Rey yells, ignoring Finn entirely and striding to him. "I was just talking to Finn about coming for you. I still have the old Jedi texts hidden away and they mention a 'world between worlds.' I don't know where-"

"Lothal system." Ben says suddenly, the entire story beginning to come back to him. His uncle, Luke, had told them about the world between worlds before at his academy.

Meanwhile, Finn in the background is in disbelief that his best friend just walked away from their conversation to go to his previous Supreme Leader, the man that killed innocent civilians out of his personal hate.

"Excuse me," he says angrily. "Why do we even need to go 'rescue' this jerk if he is here?"

Both turn to him and Finn doesn't flinch when he locks eyes with Ben Solo, once Kylo Ren, the Supreme Leader he mentioned.

"I've only got an allotted amount of time, varying on my energy level. At first, I was able to get back here, but Rey couldn't see me," he turns his head, and the two exchange glances. "I'm physically here at the moment, but only for twenty minutes to a few hours."

"Then where are you?"

"As I was telling Rey," somewhat annoyed, pointing out that _he_ interrupted his conversation with his lover, "it seems the planet Lothal looms under the world I am in. If I had to guess, I'm in the world between worlds." He nods at Rey who beams, proud of her theory being on point with his.

"Then how do we get you to move on?" Finn asks. Rey knees him in the back of his knee immediately. He stumbles as his knee gives out and steps away from her, right against BB-8 who made it out to them.

"He's not moving on; he is coming _home!" _The end of her sentence makes Ben smile wholeheartedly, something that does not go unnoticed by Finn. He turns his head away from the two of them.

"Anything on Lothal that could help us get to you?" He asks, turning back and glancing Ben up and down. Ben is surprised by this new change of heart from the girl's friend. Was he really going to help? And could he help? It wasn't like he was a Jedi apprentice, although even Ben could feel that he was Force sensitive; he was surprised to find it had emerged their last few meetings, and even felt it in the Force.

"There's a Jedi temple on the planet. Or was. It's most likely a field of ruins now. Supposedly, there is a portal painted on the rock, but the appearance of what it looks like now may vary to the people who see it."

"So, we don't know exactly what we are looking for, _or where_ we will be when we are looking for it?" Finn asks. Ben turns, eyeing him as if he wants to close his mouth for him. Finn keeps his gaze, and it's Ben that looks away first.

"I'm just warning you."

"I'll go, just take me to Lothal," Rey says to Finn. He begins to protest but the Jedi continues. "This is my personal journey to take, to reconnect with Ben in this universe." They turn to each other, both of their hearts feeling a pang of...was it fear? Ben finds himself concerned over the chance of Rey losing her life to try to bring _him_ back_._ As if this woman hadn't done enough for him already.

And Rey, her fear was failure; a life where her vision meant nothing. A life where she didn't get to spend the rest of every moment with her love, with her _family._

In sync, they both turn to Finn, who just seems to _know_ suddenly, and nods in agreement - They were going to Lothal to find Ben Solo, stuck in the World between Worlds.

There's a flicker in the Force, much like a mosquito quickly buzzing by.

Rey turns to Ben, who is no longer there, not even a shadow. She spins her head left and right, finding no physical signs of him and no longer through the Force. Finn takes notice, turning to his friend.

"Where'd he go?"

She turns to him with a pitiful look, wanting to tell him that this is what their meetings have been like in the last year, with the first year of nothing. Would he think she was crazy? He seemed to already think so based on her revelation of her love for his once Supreme Leader.

Meanwhile, Ben found himself getting further and further from the door that lead to his love on Tatooine, as if he was walking, no - jogging, backwards. The pace gets rapidly quicker and he reaches for it until the door closes in front of him. He looks around at the dark black flat plane in front of him. He steps forward and tries to open the door again with the Force, but nothing happens. He glances to his right and paces towards another path, one leading to another portal. He steps, the glass glowing with the pressure with the planet far, far below. He finds every other portal closed as well, nothing but black speckled with twinkling stars. He kneels in front of one, exhausted and frustrated, wondering why they were cut off this time; he still had plenty of energy. He bends forward, putting his hands onto the glass pane and staring down at the small marble of a planet below, hoping for his next chance to be the one where he can escape.


End file.
